log; maybe one day bruno will be cool

[unenvied]

I

[It's a lovely day—the kind perfect for a cup of coffee and some sweets. Whether you're outside of the cafe, though, or already inside—well, you might notice one (1) weirdo pressed up against the window, peering into the building with a wide-eyed look.]

...

[Nothing to see here, move along—]

II

[Kai and Master seemed to enjoy it, so why not give it a try...?

And that's how Bruno ended up sitting on the edge of a fountain, tossing out pigeon feed. This would be great, except none of the pigeons are approaching.]

Why...!? Why will they not come to me?

[WHY DO ANIMALS HATE HIM.

... In any case, after it becomes clear that this is a failure, he turns to the nearest person and holds out the bag of feed.]

Would you like it? It appears I have no use for it.

III

[Evening falls upon the town, and—]

Thief!

[As a man grasping a book runs by, weaving into an alleyway, Bruno's call rings out in the air—with Bruno in pursuit of said thief. Help him out, Y/N??]

Comments

III

[scooptimistic]

[ ... Oh.

THAT MAN NEEDS HELP, and while Maya is nowhere near as physically violent as her roommate (usually for understandable reasons, occasionally for less), she can probably sound at least a little intimidating. And, you know, hit hard.

So actually, down the alleyway she goes right after Man With Book. A plan, what's that? ]

Hey, stop!

[unenvied]

[Thanks, kind stranger.

As Bruno tries to devise a plan, he curses himself for not being more familiar with the layout of the alleyways, but, well—he comes to town only so frequently. In the back of his mind, he's aware that he shouldn't run too far, or else his guards will freak out about where he's gone, but...

He really wants his book back, damn it.

Running along with Maya—]

Do you think you can catch up with him...!?

[scooptimistic]

Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm in great shape with the whole lugging heavy equipment around and such. You don't mind if I tackle him, do you?

[ She seems really enthusiastic about this. ]

[unenvied]

[Maya, why.]

I suppose with the situation, we can't help any crude measures...!

[scooptimistic]

I accept being crude for the sake of justice!

[ okay, Maya. ]

[unenvied]

Just do not injure him too badly!

[scooptimistic]

It'll be fine! I know when to hold back.

[ So saying that, she breaks into a sprint.

Sorry, Katsuya Jr., that was definitely a distant grunt of pain once she finds her target. ]

[unenvied]

[HE'S NOT SURE IF THAT INSPIRES CONFIDENCE...

He catches up in a couple of moments. After a moment to catch his breath—]

In my experience, the watchmen are quick to act, so they should hopefully arrive soon. Will you be able to restrain him until then?

[scooptimistic]

Not a problem! I picked up a few restraining holds from my roommate.

[ Thanks, Ulala!! Who knew this would come in handy with book thieves? ]

[unenvied]

[Uh.]

R-Restraining holds...? Why would you be learning such things?

[scooptimistic]

To stop book thieves.

[ see? Works like a charm. ]

[unenvied]

... I would hope that is not something you regularly have to do.

I - it's jesse with another fate/

[houseworks]

[.............................

Shirou happens to be working part-time at the cafe Bruno is stalking. It's hard not to notice a grown man glued to the window, looking suspicious as all hell. He waits on it -- maybe he'll get tired and go away -- but it looks like the stranger is here to stay.

He leaves the register to a coworker before he pops outside with a frown.]

Hey, uh, can I help you?

[unenvied]

[Bruno gives a start, looking appropriately embarrassed at being caught staring.]

M-My apologies! I did not mean to be impolite, but I was, er...

[... Well, this is embarrassing.]

[houseworks]

[What a weirdo?]

You should come in if you want to order something.

[unenvied]

I-Indeed! Forgive my rudeness. However... is it acceptable to enter if I am not certain of what to order?

[How do cafes work????]

[houseworks]

[?????????]

Why wouldn't it be?

[Hmm. Shirou reaches into his apron and pulls out a menu because he's a star employee.]

Here.

[unenvied]

Thank you kindly.

[He takes it and peruses through it... and then sometimes glances around because is he?? supposed to sit down before ordering?? or after???

See, this is why he needed to observe through the window.]

[houseworks]

[. . .]

Why don't you come in?

[unenvied]

T-Thank you. I would like that.

[houseworks]

[Get cozy then!! Shirou will lead him to a table and motion for him to take a seat.]

Let me know when you're ready.

[unenvied]

[He sits, as motioned.]

I will do so—ah. [He pauses, smiling politely.] Actually, what would you recommend?

[houseworks]

Well... the espresso's a big hit with our customers.

III.

[duplicitoussight]

[.............................

Kano stays in the shadows and casually sticks out his leg.

In a moment, the thief will go flying into the pavement.

QUICK BRUNO, GRAB HOLD OF YOUR THINGS.]

[scooptimistic]

Maybe once or twice.

[ Look, life is never boring in Sumaru. ]

I.

[klitzeklein]

[............................

It's like a child sitting on the bench, too shy to ask if he could join his classmates. How old is Bruno again? Sixteen, was it?

.............................]

Do you see something you like, Your Highness?

ii.

[melanges]

[Licht, who happens to be lounging around, can't help being a little bit rude.]

Oh? You're already done pelting the birds? You really need to work on your aim, Brunie...

[unenvied]

[sweats intensely]

M-Master! No, I just...

[...]

I am simply reminded of my shortcomings in knowledge...

[including "how to function".]

[unenvied]

[DON'T BULLY YOUR BIG BROTHER.]

I am not pelting the birds! That's animal abuse!

[klitzeklein]

[Poor Bruno. Fortunately, Master the tutor is here to help.]

Oh? What do you mean by that?

[melanges]

[HE BULLIES BRUNO OUT OF LOVE AND BC THAT'S HIS RIGHT AS THE YOUNGEST!!]

Wow, what a scary face...! You're seriously gonna scare all the birds off!